In the past couple of years, quite a few of my friends and acquaintances have gotten married and I've been privileged to be an observer of their friendships, courtships, and marriage. I used to think love looked the same no matter who it involved, but now I realize how many types of relationships there really are...too many to count actually! I've seen the "knight and his princess" love, the "best friends since childhood" love, the "star crossed lovers" love...there are so many and each one has been so uniquely different from the other that it leaves me in awe of how perfectly they fit each individual involved. It's like they were made specifically for each other, with all their life experiences preparing them for that moment when they first laid eyes on each other...and I believe that is exactly what happened! Most people would say this is silly and naive, but I really believe that God had created us to each be the perfect fit for our future spouses (excepting those who are called to the religious life; that's a different post for a different time =P) and every moment of our lives is meant to be a step closer to when we find the one He has created for us. It may be tomorrow, it may be twenty years from now, but if I've learned anything from watching my friend's romances, it's that it will happen at the perfect time and in that moment you will realize how well it was all planned out from the beginning. In my personal experience, I've found knowing that it's not all up to me helps me sleep much better at night =P. When you stop worrying about whether you're good enough, or if you'll be able to handle putting your heart in the hands of another human being, or whether you missed your opportunity for love, you're whole life changes. When something goes wrong in my life, or a door has been closed with no other opening in sight, I always try to imagine how this will help me be the person my "true love" will need one day. Maybe if that door had remained open, I would have done something that would keep me from meeting him, or maybe that trial was to help me one day understand something he went through, or maybe my heart needed to be broken so he could be the one to put it back together. Not knowing what the future holds is part of the charm; if God told us everything, it would spoil the surprise =). Life is so much more exciting when you can look around you and wonder whether that person you passed on the street, the guy you met at Mass, or the girl you saw at a party is the one God has planned for you, or if you've even seen them yet. One of my friends who was married earlier this year told me that when she met her husband, her whole life suddenly seemed to make sense, and on a different occasion, her husband told me the same exact thing about her! To me, that remark made a huge impact on the way I viewed love. It's not just chance or something to be played with, it's a carefully planned time in our lives that is intended to help us reach our ultimate goal of being in Heaven. The first end of marriage is the bringing of children into the world, but the second is the edification and saving of your spouse, and I love that thought. Being the one planned from all eternity to help save the soul of the one you love seems to be a wonderful, amazing privilege, and one I pray I'll be prepared for when the time comes. Years ago a priest friend told me to not worry about finding my future spouse, just to give my heart to Our Lady and St. Joseph and ask them to keep it safe until I meet the one Our Lord has chosen for me to be with, and this has been some of the best advice I have ever received! I tend to worry too much over...well, everything, so it is not always easy for me to just trust in Our Lady to work it all out for me, but when I do just give it all to her and St. Joseph to sort out, I never regret it. In summary, don't worry about whether you are still single, or despair of finding that special someone one day; just give it all to Our Lady and she will write you a more beautiful love story than you could have ever planned for yourself. =)
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