Five Lies About Modesty...

When I first began dressing modestly I was pressured on practically every side by our culture to give up.  I was only about twelve years old so it was my parents who decided what I was going to wear or not wear, and I didn't understand at first the importance of their decision.  The biggest problem, I think, was that I literally knew NO ONE at all who dressed modestly.  This is a big problem when you are a young girl because you don't want to stand out or look "weird". Once I met a girl my age at our parish who did, everything became easier, but it wasn't until I was in my late teens that I began to research the whys and wherefores of dressing in a "Mary-Like Manner".  What I learned was that most girls and young women (including myself) have been and are being presented with a false image of what modesty really is...if more of us could see the truth about modesty, the world would be a much nicer place.  I could go on for hours about everything that's currently wrong with the world but for this post I am going to limit myself to clearing up the top five lies about modesty.

1. Modest Means Frumpy...

I really, really prayed that this wasn't true when my parents first changed our clothing standards.  I had no one to look to for inspiration when I was a teenager, so I thought I was the only girl who wanted to look stylish and yet modest at the same time.  Thank Heaven, I was VERY WRONG.

The Church's position on modesty is:

"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees.  Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper." (The sleeve length was raised to at least a quarter of the arm)
As long as your clothes fit into these standards, you're free to mix, match, and style as you like! I have found a wealth of inspiration from people like Olivia Howard from Fresh Modesty  and Colleen Hammond from Dressing With Dignity, not to mention several lovely ladies of my acquaintance who always try to dress in a stylish, yet modest, manner.  The internet is full of blogs by young women trying to bring back more feminine styles, not to mention the Pinterest folders! You can see my personal collection here.  To sum up, women were dressing modestly and stylishly for thousands of years before the mini-skirt was invented.  

2. Modest Clothing Restricts Your Movements, So You Can Do Nothing But Sit Inside And Knit...

Firstly, I like knitting.  And secondly, I have never had to pass up a single activity (short of rock climbing...and I probably could have joined in on that if my skirt had been longer) that I have wanted to partake in at any time of my life because I was wearing a modest skirt.  I have gone tubing, jogging, bouncing on the trampoline, dancing, tree climbing, motorcycle riding...and not once had a problem.  A dear friend even rides horses and and can beat her brothers (and mine!) in a race...depending on the style of skirt you are wearing, you can do pretty much anything in a modest way.

3. I Shouldn't Have To Be Uncomfortable To Keep Men From Committing Sins; That's Their Problem...

Sigh...Okay, there are men out there who will be committing sins regardless of how you dress, but there are also many, many men (young and old) who are trying to keep their minds and souls pure, and we really should try to help them out.  Men are designed to be attracted to women's bodies, so when you dangle forbidden fruit in front of them continuously, you are making it that much harder for them to avoid mortal sin.  Wearing sleeves or a long skirt does not make you that much more uncomfortable than you would be otherwise, but even if you felt like you were being broiled in an oven from the extra material, what is that compared to the immortal souls you will not be putting in danger? The Bible says that we are "our brother's keeper" and we should all be helping each other avoid sin as best we can, men and women alike.  What really made this hit home with me was the remarks my brothers have started making as they've gotten older about how much easier it is to talk to a girl when you're not constantly having to fight a battle in your mind because of her scanty outfit.   

4. It's Impossible To Find Modest Clothing...

Yeah, right.  See the links on number one.

5. Guys Don't Notice Girls Who Dress Modestly...

This is the part where most people say "Guys may chase girls who dress like that now, but when they get married they'll want a nice girl" and I'm sorry, but I don't believe that is a very helpful thing to say.  If a young man does not have enough self control to refrain from "chasing girls" because they dress in an immodest way then he probably wouldn't make a very good husband anyway.  Believe it or not, there are good young men out there, and though they be rare, they are not so extinct as to give you the excuse to give yourself to a man who does not deserve you.  Guys do notice the girls who dress modestly, and they do appreciate it, even if they don't say anything to you.  It makes most guys uncomfortable to even admit that they have a problem in this area, but don't think just because they don't flirt with you they don't think you're special.  The fact is, they see you're different and respect you too much to waste your time and emotions with flirting.

Well, there are the top five lies most girls are presented with about modesty.  I hope I was able to encourage you all to move further away from the world's standard of how to dress and closer to a more "Mary-like Modesty", because we should always be progressing forward in this area, as in every area of our lives.