Five Lies About Modesty...

When I first began dressing modestly I was pressured on practically every side by our culture to give up.  I was only about twelve years old so it was my parents who decided what I was going to wear or not wear, and I didn't understand at first the importance of their decision.  The biggest problem, I think, was that I literally knew NO ONE at all who dressed modestly.  This is a big problem when you are a young girl because you don't want to stand out or look "weird". Once I met a girl my age at our parish who did, everything became easier, but it wasn't until I was in my late teens that I began to research the whys and wherefores of dressing in a "Mary-Like Manner".  What I learned was that most girls and young women (including myself) have been and are being presented with a false image of what modesty really is...if more of us could see the truth about modesty, the world would be a much nicer place.  I could go on for hours about everything that's currently wrong with the world but for this post I am going to limit myself to clearing up the top five lies about modesty.

1. Modest Means Frumpy...

I really, really prayed that this wasn't true when my parents first changed our clothing standards.  I had no one to look to for inspiration when I was a teenager, so I thought I was the only girl who wanted to look stylish and yet modest at the same time.  Thank Heaven, I was VERY WRONG.

The Church's position on modesty is:

"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees.  Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper." (The sleeve length was raised to at least a quarter of the arm)
As long as your clothes fit into these standards, you're free to mix, match, and style as you like! I have found a wealth of inspiration from people like Olivia Howard from Fresh Modesty  and Colleen Hammond from Dressing With Dignity, not to mention several lovely ladies of my acquaintance who always try to dress in a stylish, yet modest, manner.  The internet is full of blogs by young women trying to bring back more feminine styles, not to mention the Pinterest folders! You can see my personal collection here.  To sum up, women were dressing modestly and stylishly for thousands of years before the mini-skirt was invented.  

2. Modest Clothing Restricts Your Movements, So You Can Do Nothing But Sit Inside And Knit...

Firstly, I like knitting.  And secondly, I have never had to pass up a single activity (short of rock climbing...and I probably could have joined in on that if my skirt had been longer) that I have wanted to partake in at any time of my life because I was wearing a modest skirt.  I have gone tubing, jogging, bouncing on the trampoline, dancing, tree climbing, motorcycle riding...and not once had a problem.  A dear friend even rides horses and and can beat her brothers (and mine!) in a race...depending on the style of skirt you are wearing, you can do pretty much anything in a modest way.

3. I Shouldn't Have To Be Uncomfortable To Keep Men From Committing Sins; That's Their Problem...

Sigh...Okay, there are men out there who will be committing sins regardless of how you dress, but there are also many, many men (young and old) who are trying to keep their minds and souls pure, and we really should try to help them out.  Men are designed to be attracted to women's bodies, so when you dangle forbidden fruit in front of them continuously, you are making it that much harder for them to avoid mortal sin.  Wearing sleeves or a long skirt does not make you that much more uncomfortable than you would be otherwise, but even if you felt like you were being broiled in an oven from the extra material, what is that compared to the immortal souls you will not be putting in danger? The Bible says that we are "our brother's keeper" and we should all be helping each other avoid sin as best we can, men and women alike.  What really made this hit home with me was the remarks my brothers have started making as they've gotten older about how much easier it is to talk to a girl when you're not constantly having to fight a battle in your mind because of her scanty outfit.   

4. It's Impossible To Find Modest Clothing...

Yeah, right.  See the links on number one.

5. Guys Don't Notice Girls Who Dress Modestly...

This is the part where most people say "Guys may chase girls who dress like that now, but when they get married they'll want a nice girl" and I'm sorry, but I don't believe that is a very helpful thing to say.  If a young man does not have enough self control to refrain from "chasing girls" because they dress in an immodest way then he probably wouldn't make a very good husband anyway.  Believe it or not, there are good young men out there, and though they be rare, they are not so extinct as to give you the excuse to give yourself to a man who does not deserve you.  Guys do notice the girls who dress modestly, and they do appreciate it, even if they don't say anything to you.  It makes most guys uncomfortable to even admit that they have a problem in this area, but don't think just because they don't flirt with you they don't think you're special.  The fact is, they see you're different and respect you too much to waste your time and emotions with flirting.

Well, there are the top five lies most girls are presented with about modesty.  I hope I was able to encourage you all to move further away from the world's standard of how to dress and closer to a more "Mary-like Modesty", because we should always be progressing forward in this area, as in every area of our lives.

Why I Wear A Veil

(...otherwise titled: This Thing On My Head Is Not A Doily)

Oh lowly, little, chapel veil,

You are my dearest friend.

For when my hair's all mops and brooms,

You cover, end to end.

And when my hair's not curling right

Or when it sticks out straight,

You gently hold it all in place

And make it look first rate!

But feminists, they hate you so,

You lowly, simple thing.

To them you are so vile, not veil,

To praise Our Lord and King.

And passing by the Church of Seven,

"Autonomy's", their phrase.

They never know the joys of Heaven,

Such as, no bad-hair-days!

For lowly, lacey, chapel veil,

You tame my hair, so wild!

But truth-be-told, though I look nice,

It's really for The Child.

By Hilary Mary Bernadette Flanery

(When I was researching for this post, I found the above poem and it made me laugh.  It is so true! There have been so many Sundays when one of my friends or I casually "forgot" to take off our veil after Mass because we were having a bad hair day.) 

Now, why do Traditional Catholic women cover their heads when in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament?

Firstly, it is required by Canon Law for women to cover and for men to uncover their heads in church.  Despite public belief that it was done away with, it is still in effect and applies to us today.  According to the 1917 Code of Canon Law (Canon 126.2):

"Men should be with their head uncovered in church or outside of church, when they assist at the sacred rites, unless the approved customs of the people or additional particulars of the circumstances call for something else; women, however, should be with head covered and modestly dressed, particularly when they approach the Lord's Table."

St. Paul also speaks about women veiling themselves before coming before the Blessed Sacrament in 1 Corinthians 11:1-17:

"Be ye followers of me, as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that in all things you are mindful of me and keep my ordinances as I have delivered them to you. But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered disgraceth his head. But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven. For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man [c.f. Genesis 2-3]. For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man. Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, because of the angels. But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God. You yourselves judge. Doth it become a woman to pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the Church of God [i.e., if anyone want to complain about this, we have no other way of doing things, this is our practice; all the churches believe the same way]. Now this I ordain: not praising you, that you come together, not for the better, but for the worse."

This sounds a little chauvinistic until you understand what St. Paul is saying...I know I was a little offended the first time I read it until I had it explained.  What this verse means in a nutshell is that we women can be very distracting to our brothers, especially with our hair, which is our glory. This is not a bad thing, in fact it's exactly the way God created us! But out of humility to Our Lord, we cover our hair/glory to sort of point towards the tabernacle and say "This is the time to focus on the beauty and glory of God, not our beauty." to the men.  I know how distracting it is to me when a girl has beautiful hair and does not cover it in church (my first thoughts; What lovely hair! I wish I had hair like that.  How did she get it in that style? As soon as I get home I'm trying that.  Oh, wait, sorry, Lord...) so I know it's probably a lot worse on the boys.  Out of charity, we need to think about them too, instead of just thinking about what a sensation our hair will make with our friends and neighbors.

Secondly, traditionally holy things have always been covered with a veil.  Take the tabernacle for instance! Or pretty much every picture of Our Lady! And even in the Old Testament...

(Hebrews 9:1-8): "The former [Old Covenant] indeed had also justifications of divine service and a sanctuary. For there was a tabernacle made the first, wherein were the candlesticks and the table and the setting forth of loaves, which is called the Holy. And after the second veil, the tabernacle which is called the Holy of Holies: Having a golden censer and the ark of the testament covered about on every part with gold, in which was a golden pot that had manna and the rod of Aaron that had blossomed and the tables of the testament. And over it were the cherubims of glory overshadowing the propitiatory: of which it is not needful to speak now particularly. Now these things being thus ordered, into the first tabernacle, the priests indeed always entered, accomplishing the offices of sacrifices. But into the second, the high priest alone, once a year: not without blood, which he offereth for his own and the people's ignorance: The Holy Ghost signifying this: That the way into the Holies was not yet made manifest, whilst the former tabernacle was yet standing."

Wearing a veil is not (as SOOOOO many people seem to assume) a degradation for women, it is a reminder to men to respect and honor them! When I see a veiled woman (and this would probably be a good time to point out that when I say "cover your head", I mean with a real veil, not a little chapel cap that barely covers the crown of your head, or a huge attention getting hat with feathers and bows, a REAL mantilla/scarf/or simple hat that looks appropriate for Mass) the first image that appears in my mind is one of the Blessed Mother, and that's precisely what I want people to see when they look at me.

Thirdly, they just plain look lovely! And as I mentioned before, they really do work well for disguising your hair when it's a total mess.   

So, ladies, please cover your head appropriately when going before the Blessed Sacrament, and don't listen to anyone who tells you it makes you any less in dignity than a man.

Some other notes on things I didn't get to cover in this post about head coverings:

 ...veils come in so many lovely styles and colors! I keep a white and a black one in my purse at all times, and keep all the other colors in the car.

...scarves are a very stylish way of covering your head, and they also work well for keeping you head warm in the winter-time.  My brothers have even said they are jealous of girls because they can cover their heads and the boys have to freeze their ears off:).

...for all those who say that the law about head coverings was done away with at Vatican II, you are wrong.  It was never mentioned in the council, and as you can see here:

Canon 20: A later law abrogates or derogates from an earlier law, if it expressly so states, or if it is directly contrary to that law, or if it integrally reorders the whole subject matter of the earlier law. A universal law, however, does not derogate from a particular or from a special law, unless the law expressly provides otherwise. 

Canon 21: In doubt, the revocation of a previous law is not presumed; rather, later laws are to be related to earlier ones and, as far as possible, harmonized with them.

Canon 28: Without prejudice to the provisions of can. 5, a custom, whether contrary to or apart from the law, is revoked by a contrary custom or law. But unless the law makes express mention of them, it does not revoke centennial or immemorial customs, nor does a universal law revoke particular customs

I hope this cleared this little issue up for some of you!

Do you wear a veil to Mass?

What Every WELL-DRESSED Girl Should Own...

Hi there! First of all, you might have noticed that I have made a few changes on my blog...for instance changing the name from "Happy Homemaking" to "Valiant Daughters".  The main reason for this is that I Googled "Happy Homemaking" and the list of blogs was...quite long.  I decided on the name "Valiant Daughters" because I believe we should all be striving to become like the Valiant Woman in Proverbs 31.  Now with that said...

Scarves are one of the most helpful things a girl can keep on hand.  You can dress up virtually anything with a pretty scarf, and turn a boring outfit into something stylish instantly.  As an added bonus, scarves are a lovely way to make a shirt more modest and there are hundreds of ways to tie them! The scarf I'm wearing in the picture was a birthday gift from a friend, and is one of my favorite accessories.

A very versatile piece of clothing that will always be in style! You can dress it up or down depending on your top, and can wear it in any season.  I have a cotton knit one that is not-a-maxi-skirt-but-looks-just-like-one and it has to be the most comfortable skirt I own.  I wear it for everything from bouncing on the trampoline, to road trips, to going to Mass.

After a black skirt, this is probably the most important base garment to keep in your wardrobe.  Everything goes with brown! I actually have three brown skirts because they're not quite as versatile as black ones and it's harder to dress them up, but depending on the style, you can pair it with almost anything.

My mom and I have been using these for years...and we L-O-V-E them! Lilla-Rose has the best hair accessories I have ever used...they look so stylish and feminine, yet they are very reasonably priced! These clips come in all sorts of sizes and style, and do a wonderful job of holding your hair up!

Every girl should own at least one pretty hat.  People who wear nice hats (whether male or female) always stand out to me as being well-dressed and respectable.  I love hats in general, particularly fedoras and those big, floppy beach hats that are so fashionable right now! They're are also a great remedy for Bad-Hair-Days...

How many of these items do you have in your closet? What would you add to the list?

Overnight Eyelash Treatment

Hi everyone! Today I have a all natural beauty trick for long, thick. healthy eyelashes.  I learned this from a pamphlet I read at a health food store and have been using it for several months now.

All you need is castor oil, an old mascara container and a brush (make sure it's clean!)! Our eyelashes don't require a lot of care and attention, but they do need moisture every now and then to stay flexible and long.

Every night before you go to bed, gently spread some of the oil on your lashes and leave on all night.  In the morning, wash your face as usual and say hello to healthier eyelashes!

Do you know any other benefits of castor oil?